Last night, I had a dream about the time we dropped Chelsea off to the University of San Francisco to go to school. I can’t believe it was nine years ago. Our next big journey will be in a few months when Kevin walks Chelsea down the aisle. Where has the time gone?
All day, my mind has been filled with memories those of excitement and fear. I often prayed “Lord, we don’t know what we are doing. What if we mess this little one up beyond repair? I am not sure we have the skill or patience to be good parents and love her the way you would want us to.”
It is strange, from time to time I still have those similar feelings. “Lord, what if we did not love her enough? What if we didn’t give her the tools to survive these experiences? Will she be safe? Will you protect her?”
Those thoughts can be overwhelming, God has gently reminded me of the words of one of my former professors. “Parents can only do the best that they can do. They are not perfect, they are just good enough.” I struggled with that concept; I didn’t want to be good enough - that seemed so beneath me. I wanted to be perfect. Of course, that did not last very long - soon my patience ran out, my temper flared and I was not always there when Chelsea needed me. No, I was not perfect - I guess I needed to deal with the fact that I was just going to be good enough.
Sometime later that professor sat with me, and in tears, I confessed my frustration of being a “good enough” mom and she looked me in the eye and responded, “Betty, being good enough should be freeing for you. As parents, we all are just good enough. But, that is where God comes in and fills the gaps with his grace, love and patience.” Wow, she was right - that principle was freeing.
This morning, in my prayer time I prayed that God would continue to fill the gaps in our parenting. That He would guide and direct Chelsea and Kyle in their new marriage and continue to draw them closer to Him in times of fear or being overwhelmed. I prayed that Chelsea will embrace that her Abba Father will always be there for her. Most of all, my prayer is that Chelsea would continue to be molded into a young woman and wife who imitates the character of her Heavenly Father. Yes, that is my prayer - and in five short months Kevin will place Chelsea in the hands of her new husband; knowing that those two are beginning new chapters in their lives with God’s covering. Thank you for allowing me to share my heart and for all your love, prayers and support.
With much love,
Betty Alvarez Ham, President
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