When a mother bird’s egg starts to jump, she hurries off to make sure she has something for her little one to eat. But as soon as she’s gone, out pops the baby bird. He immediately sets off to find his mother, but not knowing what she looks like makes it a challenge. The little hatchling is determined to find his mother, even after meeting a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a Snort.” - PD Eastman
It was almost 30 years ago and I was six months pregnant with Chelsea. I was in class at Fuller Theological Seminary listening to Dr. Judy Balswick lecture. This particular day Judy presented the theory “The Good Enough Mother”. I vividly remembered cringing as she explained this theory. Good Enough? I was not going to be a Good Enough.
When class was over, Judy walked over my way and said she noticed I was visibly upset then asked if I would be interested in having coffee. A few days later, Judy and I sat at a local coffee shop. “Betty, I know that last lecture was very hard for you. Can you tell me what in particular upset you?” By the time she asked, my eyes were filled with tears and I responded, Judy, I am not going to be a Good Enough mother, oh I won’t be! Judy responded, Betty, are you perfect? No, but good enough is not good enough.
She said kindly, I want you to imagine a glass vase; now fill it up with small stones. Each stone represents what you can provide this little one - love, food, shelter, etc. As you look at this glass vase although it is filled with stones, there are still gaps that are not filled. Betty, I believe that if you can come to terms about being Good Enough, you can then ask God to fill the gaps with his spirit. It can be really freeing.
Since that time, I have come to embrace being a Good Enough mother, wife, leader and friend. This theory has encompassed my whole journey with Christ. “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. I have also come to realize in my weakness, God brings other people in my life to walk beside me and encourage me to whom I can be real and vulnerable. My hope and prayer is that you too can embrace this wonderful truth. I hope you had a blessed Mother’s Day and you dads will experience the same.
Because of Him,
Betty Alvarez Ham
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